POETRY WOMAN

jladams @ 2009-12-27T17:33:00

2009-12-27T23:33:57Z

HERE IS A SLIDE SHOW THAT I DID OF SOME OF THE SCRAPBOOK PAGES THAT I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST.

THE LIGHT WILL SHINE THROUGH

2008-05-21T01:03:26Z

THE LIGHT WILL SHINE THROUGH

In times like this

In times of bliss

Of happiness and pain

Through sunshine and rain

No matter what you may be going through

Know that the light will always shine through

When what lay at your feet, is the world ahead

Yet you can’t seem to drag yourself out of bed

When you are blessed with all that surrounds

Yet seem as though you are all alone

Know that the light will always shine through

You may feel as though everything is in your reach

Yet for you so far out of reach

That you are everything

Yet nothing

And at times you may feel as though time is slipping by

Looking back at the days passed and wanting to cry

Knowing that things are forever going to change

Wondering if there will be anything that will stay the same

Yet know this, you must do

The light will always shine through

In everything that you do in your coming life

And with each new experience that comes into your life

Know that the light will always shine through

By: Jana Adams…May 3, 2008

A SOUL UNCOVERED

2008-05-16T23:12:26Z

A SOUL UNCOVERED

You once asked me to say something…to talk

Yet in that moment I could barely walk

My mind was going here and there

Thinking one thought of, this just isn’t fair

Even without the moments we’ve shared

My soul I felt was bared

From the moment you walked in

You did something to me

If you’ll only look inside, then you will see

The joy that you’ve brought my way

All in just one day

Sitting here I picture you

I see you across the way

I want to reach out and say

I want to know everything about you

I want to know your inner-most thoughts and desires

I want to know what makes you burn

And I want to know if it will ever be my turn

The way I feel is so very complicated

Time, it seems, has been belated

Oh, if only we had met so many years ago

I would not have to let you go

For, towards you, I feel strong magnetic pull

And something tells me you feel it too

Yet confused and alone is how I feel

For I thought, that finally, I had found the real deal

The one who makes my heart beat enhance

From the slightest little glance

The one who gives my stomach tingles

From hearing your laugh and seeing your beautiful smile

Yet weeks have passed since we first met

And with us barely saying hi

Tears, they come to my eyes

With the mere thought of us saying our goodbyes

I don’t want to let you go

Though it is said, sometimes the best things happen at just the wrong time

So, as much as I want you to be mine

I have to let you go

However, I want you to know

If things in the present should ever fail

I will be there for you, through wind and hail

So, I will let you fly away

And if you should come back someday

Then I will know the time is right

Our feelings we will no longer have to fight

You will be mine

And I…

I will be yours

By: Jana Adams…2004

CHRISTMAS WISHES

2007-12-25T20:10:13Z

CHRISTMAS WISHES

HEY EVERYONE I JUST WANTED TO WISH EVERYONE A MERRY CHRISTMAS. I ALSO WANTED TO LET YOU HOW GREAT GOD IS. ALL OF OUR CHRISTMAS WISHES CAM TRUE THIS YEAR. MY HUSBAND AND I WERE STRUGGELING TO GIVE OUR KIDS A GREAT CHRISTMAS AND (AS ALWAYS) GOD CAME THROUGH. OUR KIDS WERE SINGED UP AT AN ORGANIZATION AND WHEN WE GOT THE GIFTS FOR THEM THERE WAS A CARD WITH THE GIFTS FROM THE WOMAN WHO GRABBED THEIR NAMES. INSIDE THE CARD WAS A LETTER THAT SHE WROTE TO US.

THE LETTER SAID THAT SHE WAS GRATEFUL THAT SHE WAS ABLE TO BUY FOR KIDS….SHE THANKED US FOR ALLOWING HER TO BUY FOR OUR KIDS. I WAS SO TOUCHED BY THIS LETTER BECAUSE SHE TOLD ME THAT HER SON DIED IN A CAR ACCIDENT TWO YEARS AGO ON CHRISTMAS AND LAST YEAR SHE WAS NOT ABLE TO GET OUT OF BED. AND THIS YEAR WHEN SHE SAW OUR NAMES ON THE ANGLE TREE SHE CHOSE OUR NAMES AND THAT SHE WAS BLESSED AND HONORED THAT WE ALLOWED HER AND GAVE HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO BUY FOR OUR KIDS…I WAS SO TOUCHED THAT I STARTED CRYING. I RECEIVED HER EMAIL IN THE LETTER BECAUSE SHE ASKED THAT I SEND HER PICTURES OF THE KIDS OPENING UP THE GIFTS. I WILL BE SENDING THEM TODAY.

IN ADDITION TO THAT…I MY KIDS WERE SIGNED UP AT THEIR SCHOOL AND RECEIVED A LOT OF GIFTS. WE HAVE BEEN SO BLESSED BY GOD AND MY KIDS HAD SUCH A MERRY CHRISTMAS. I WANT TO WISH ALL OF MY READERS A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND LET YOU ALL KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS WISHES REALLY DO COME TRUE. MY KIDS HAVE BEEN PRETENDING THAT THEY HAVE A BAND FOR THE LONGEST TIME AND TODAY THEY GOT THEIR INSTRUMENTS TO START THEIR BAND. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL.

jladams @ 2007-11-21T01:32:00

2007-11-21T07:34:07Z

SERENDIPITY (writing contest)

2007-11-21T07:28:42Z

SERENDIPITY

It is what we call serendipity
The way that you found me
And as easy as it is to now digest
This time almost zeitgeist
With the taste of halva
Melting in my mouth as if flowing larva
And even though you appear semilunar
A full shape takes over you
You are full and sapid
Taking me over so rapid
Leaving me feeling mantic
As you take from me my contraband
And with a lick and a promise
It almost seems praxis
For now I am full of ataraxia
I am full of ataraxia
For you have taken over me
Ah the serendipity
The way you ran across me
The taste of halva
Causing my mouth to form massive amounts of saliva
And now I feel mantic
Yet have no panic
For I have you in my life
I now am your wife
And even though at times you seem semilunar
You are truly in full circle
Full of love for me
Ah the serendipity
And with a lick and a promise
I have won with no miss
Ah the serendipity
Ah the serendipity
By: Jana Adams…November 20, 2007

OBSESSION

2007-11-19T20:05:10Z

hello all,

Jana here again. i wanted to write today and was not sure of what i was going to write about until now. you know i have always remained faithful to my husband, even through our hard times. We went through a time where we were dealing with a lot of difficult things in our lives and instead of him talking to me about things, he took things in his own hands and started talking to another woman. I didn't find this out until after we were married and of course he ended things when i told him either he has her as a "friend" or he has me. Through time I could not let this go, because I NEVER expected this kind of behavior out of him. We had known each other for 7 years and were best friends. We got each other through a lot in life and we were so much alike...we still are today (aside from the cheating part). this is why i never expected this out of him.

I could not let things go. I became obsessed with what exactly went on between them. I started asking questions and got pieces...first it was "innocent" information like that he just talked to her and then when i pushed the issue more, I found out more little details. Through the past two years I have become more and more obsessed with this situation and it is so hard for me to let go because each time i bring it up (like every couple months or so) I find out more information...he always says that there is no more information each time, but then I put everything together and then I end up bringing it up again and then I find out something else...

i feel like i am losing my mind here. For each time i find out something new, it hurts me but yet then again i become more obsessed with the situation and want to know more. I am still to this day obsessed with this, and want to know everything and he says still that there is no more information. Am I crazy for being so obsessed, and how does one NOT become, or overcome obsession?

any answers would be appreciated because I feel like I am losing my mind here with this obsession...I mean I want to go so far as to find this other woman and get her side of the story, but can't find her. Anyway, enough venting today. talk later.

JL

A Man's Best Friend

2007-11-17T14:54:02Z

MAN’S BEST FRIEND

To see him lying there so sweet and innocent

His big brown eyes looking up at me

There’s a sparkle, a gleam

Almost like a dream

So kismet

Man’s best friend

Woman’s worst enemy

Who knew, this, he could be

So sweet,

So kind

Yet so discrete,

He sneaks behind

Under a tree he lay so gently

Who knew he could be so slimy

Quiet and laid back, he seemed so sweet

Who knew, my heart, he hungered to eat

Who knew he was plotting against my heart

As to save it for the platter he rolls upon a cart

So juicy, so pure

So full of love, yet unsure

He leaped from his spot

To love me?...Oh! NOT

He tossed me here and there

He threw me everywhere

His love and kindness, he was suppose to share

Yet I did not have the long beautiful brown hair

He tucked me under his bed

Put me out of his head

Then went on his way

To claim yet another, on this very day.

By: Jana Adams

October 2006

WORDS ARE JUST WORDS

2007-11-15T19:17:07Z

WORDS ARE JUST WORDS

He speaks no words, just sits there in a daze
Looking before him, seeing his life as a haze
Does he wonder what will happen?
Does he want to invite me in?
Does he realize what he’s done?
Is there a chance that his life has not ended, yet begun?
Where do we go from here?
Where do we go that won’t bring a tear?
Does he know of the pain that he caused?
Does he know of the heart he paused?
Will he change this time?
Will his heart ever sing to a different rhyme?
Will his words ever hold truth and not lies?
Or will he turn out to be like all the other guys?
A promise over and over again
That he would, in that way, never again sin
Does he realize, that to me, his words are just words
They are a thousand nails in a minority of boards
To me, these words, they have no meaning
They are annoying bells, in my ear, ringing
Spit out and sprayed, as to pacify
Yet in the end causing a pleading cry
Does he realize that I hear, I listen
Yet to me, anymore, they mean nothing
These words are a quick jab
A sharp stab
These words are just words
They have no meaning
They are a thousand nails in a minority of boards
They are annoying bells, in my ear, ringing
Belief of these words were at one time present
For I had no reason to believe anything different
Yet through time these words have lost their measure
Spoken as if just to pleasure
Through time these words have lost their worth
For they were spoken in supposed truth to cover up the worse
These words are just words
They are a thousand nails in a minority of boards
Yet still, in time, I hope that these words that spit from his mouth
Will be words I can trust, these words that come out.

By: Jana Adams
December 3, 2006

Check out my Slide Show!

2007-11-15T00:55:36Z

MY LIFE MY LOVES

2007-11-14T03:42:11Z

MY LIFE MY LOVES

How do I describe the most joyous days of my life?

The days when each of you came into me life

First, I start with you, my oldest daughter

Who brings light to the room with your most simple laughter

Who reaches out to help those in need

No second thoughts, and without greed

And next I come to you

The one I received in oh thousand on two

With your daring nature

Willing to take on all presented to you

A born leader and not a follower

One of whom to God many will follow her

And next my son

Who was guided to me through the rays of the sun

With the calming voice

That will lead many to the right choice

Who praises God with his hands in the air

In thanks of what God has given him here

And last bus not least, my youngest baby

Who over came all that was placed in front of you and me

Whose destination was planned through the kindest of grace

With the strong personality that will overcome each and every race

Who brings joy to all who look upon her face

All of you are miracles to me

Came into the world for all to see

All with a specific purpose

To make a difference

In this world that He did make

My loves, my life

My children, full of life

I am blessed to have each and every one of you

In my life that God placed, so perfect only he knew.

I love you all with all my heart

And through time I will always be there to the end as from the start.

By: Jana Adams…July, 2007

I SEE A GIRL

2007-11-13T03:58:24Z

I SEE A GIRL

I see a girl who is afraid of what she has become

A girl who feels, in this life, she has not won

I see a girl starving for attention

A girl reflecting desperation

Reaching to find love

Covering her body with a glove

I see a girl hiding behind a newfound mask

A girl feeling overwhelmed in every task

I see a girl who questions, will me, he save

A girl who is overcome by the crashing wave

I see a girl who needs to be rescued

From the life she has turned to, instead of the one she has valued

A girl who, to others, she has portrayed

The person she thought she left behind

I see a girl who, within herself, she has betrayed

The power, love and wealth that was given her, along with all man kind

I see a girl who is longing to be loved

A girl who is longing to be filled

I see a girl who reaches out

A girl who has some doubt

With the walk she finds herself on in this life

I see a girl who feels pain…who feels strife

I see a girl who searches to find what she must seek

A girl who finds herself getting weak

I see a girl who has strayed

A girl who, by the enemy, has been played

I see a girl who once was me

A girl who I no longer wish to be

I see a girl who I was in the past

A girl who will no longer last

I see a girl and that girl is me

Yet I long for the girl I strive to be

I see a girl that was sent from above

I see a girl that God does love.

By: Jana Adams…May 17, 2004

THANK YOU LORD

2007-11-12T15:55:48Z

THANK YOU LORD

Just when there seemed to be no hope

You showed me once again how to cope

Once again

You came in

You shinned your light

And showed me how to fight

Through many times of feeling alone

Through many times I’ve felt I have no home

Through many times of happiness and joy

Through many times I’ve felt I want to deploy

Through many times I’ve felt I wanted to end my life

Just so I would no longer have to endure the strife

You’ve showed yourself true

You always came through

You’ve showed me that there is always one I can count on

You’ve showed me that you are here and not gone

With all the pain and sorrow I’ve felt

In the end, on my knees I have knelt

I’ve begged of you, to end this pain

I’ve begged of you to dry up this falling rain

When I’ve felt I can’t go on

You’ve been there present, to feed your faun

Nourishing and feeding your delicate creature

Filling with grace and mercy, as to nurture

I thank you Lord for what you have done

For making me feel as though, in this life, I have won

For showing me my life has only just begun

For helping me to realize, I am not alone

For the constant reminder that before me awaits a blessed home

Thank you Lord for bringing me through

Everything I couldn’t, if I didn’t have you

Thank you for loving

Thank you for caring

Thank you for your open arms

Thank you for protecting me from all harms

Thank you Lord for helping me to press on

Thank you Lord for ever showing me you are here, yet not gone

In this life I have truly struggled

And without you, my life would have been smuggled

Through all the sins

You still came in

Through all the sorrow and pain that dwells

You gave me a heart that with love still swells

I thank you Lord for opening up the doors to your kingdom

I thank you Lord for giving me wisdom

I thank you Lord for giving me discernment

I thank you Lord for your gift, a wonderful present

I thank you Lord for being there

Through all the pain and trials in my life

I thank you Lord for showing me that you do care

I thank you Lord for saving my life.

By: Jana Adams

December 5, 2006

STAYING TRUE

2007-11-12T15:54:00Z

People seem to amaze me everyday. There are people who are honest, kind, loving, faithful and there are people who are the complete opposite. Many times, people who are genuinely true, faithful and honest in their relationships hold true to those aspects. They tell themselves that there is no way that they would ever be anything different than to be faithful, honest and trustworthy. And then, there are the types of people who just don't care how they are or behave in a relationship...and the types that even though they say that they are going to remain faithful in their relationship...get faced with a situation that seems to be harmless, and then they get caught up in lies and deceit, before they realize what they are doing or have done...

In any given situation...in any relationship...no matter what you may feel about your significant other and the commitment you have towards them, you never truly know how you will act until you are faced head on with a situation that seems harmless, and then becomes complicated. The complication does not come out right away...it takes time. You may be talking to a college at work (as just friends) or a close friend of whom you appreciate their companionship and in your mind this is harmless. You convince yourself that there is no harm in having this relationship and that your significant other would have no problem with you having conversations with this other person...after all you are just friends...right?

This is the type of situation that will (in most cases) cause the most of faithful, honest and trustworthy of people to come to their end. In a situation such as this, a person is blind to the fact that the other person (who is just a friend) may indeed have hidden motives behind the friendship. Then, before the honest, faithful person knows it...they are in a web that they seem to be stuck in and can't break free from. They have been sucked in by the lure of this friend, who has slowly placed subtle hints on the relationship going further than just friends with their sly and sneaky comments that end up building the self-esteem of the other party in the friendship. Before you know it...the faithful person has fallen into this trap and begins to make comments back to the other party and then the relationship progresses until the "faithful" person, becomes "unfaithful" due to the this lure and the desire to see what the other person has to offer.

My point is, that even though some of us say to ourselves "I would never do that...I would never cheat on my partner, nor would I place myself in a situation to do so...I will always remain faithful, for I am in love...." etc. One will never truly know if that will most definitely be the outcome of their life, until they are face to face with a situation that places them at a crossroad...and with the decision to take the "right" path of honesty, faithfulness, and staying true to their relationship.

AN ANSWER TO...HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PAIN

2007-11-12T15:52:44Z

AN ANSWER TO…

HOW DO YOUDEAL WITH PAIN

I have told you in my word

That you hold the power of the shield and sword

My child, you are not to deal with pain

Even through the thunderstorms with the cold drawn rain

You are to cast your cares upon me

Open up and allow me to see

Show me what is bottled up inside

Your fears, no longer will you have to hide

My child, of me, you can expect it all

For my child I will not let you fall

I will never fail you

Yet I will always save you

I am the one who has come to sanctify you

I have brought you the truth

I have brought you the light

I am the one that, for you, will put up the fight

How do you deal with pain you ask?

This for me is no task

It is not your job to deal with pain

It is not your job to worry yourself

Just call my name

And I will put your pain up on a shelf

I have called you to love

I have called you to praise

I have promised you, that with me, you will have no pain

So call my name

And everyday I will do the same.

By: Jana Adams….October 22, 2006

Fallen Subject

2007-11-12T15:51:05Z

FALLEN SUBJECT

Have you ever been so consumed with one inanimate object

That is takes you over, in ways you could never imagine

That of your life it does ruin

Thus destroying you, instead of doing the opposite

I have fallen subject

To this inanimate object

Taking me over in more ways than one

And for this, I have lost everything

I have not won

I have yet, destroyed everything

Waiting until the next time I could be embraced

Thoughts, through my head, they have raced

When will we meet again?

My sweet sin

When will we meet again?

So that I may feel the win

Sliding down the dark passage

Probing like a savage

For that one simplistic taste

Not letting any go to waste

You are my dark sweet lover

Yet over my life do you hover

Never giving me any peace

Yet for that moment of saccharine enduring peace

And when you are gone

I long…

I want you to come back

I want not to feel your lack

Come back to me, I say

Come back to me each day

For you are my sweet simplistic way

Of dealing through each difficult hard-stricken day

Come back to me, my embracing object

For I have fallen subject

I have fallen subject

To you sweet bitter taste

Not letting any go to waste

I have fallen subject to you…

I have fallen subject to you

By : Jana Adams…November 11, 2007

life's surprises

2007-11-12T13:48:11Z

Life takes us by surprise, and in most cases we do not even seeing it coming. somehow it sneaks up from behind us and before we know it...it is kicking us in the butt. Not knowing where to go from there, the only thing we can do is to face it head on. Face all the good, face all the bad...face all that we had and all that we have. Many times life takes us by surprise and we are flabbergasted on which way or road to take, all the while wondering if the choice that we make will be the correct on or a choice based on impulse....

There have many circumstances that have played a part in my life in this way over the past couple of years. Situations have taken me by surprise...situations I NEVER thought I would be mixed up in and situations I have had NO control over...see in some cases we do have an extent of control...but do we really have control, or are we just puppets in a much bigger scene that we have no idea of where it is going to take us from move to move.

My love life has taken me through loops that I never expected and my family has taken me through some extraordinary changes that I did not expect would ever cross my path. My youngest (21 months old) has surprised me tremendously with her astonishing talent to pick up on all the information that is fed to her. She is a very intelligent baby, yet she has had some developmental delays due to a lot of problems that I had during my pregnancy. She is very delayed in her speech and some in her fine motor skills. I praise God that I found a program that will help her to gain control and catch up with her age group. Sometimes I feel guilty...as if it were my fault that she is delayed (due to all of the stress, and health problems during the pregnancy)...But the cold hard fact that I have to face and convince myself everyday is that I DID NOT have control over those situations...Still it is hard for me to look at her and not feel some quilt on my part.

As far as my other children...well they too have taken me by surprise with the way that they behave sometimes...I again feel that it is my fault. My oldest especially has the idea (due to her taking car of me during my past 8 surgeries) that she is the mom. Even though I can take care of myself now, she is still having trouble going back to the "child" stage of her life...and my son is having problems with his school work due to the fact that his other mother has finally been calling him lately (he is acting out in confusion) and I have been working on him with all of his studies...One of My main concerns is that due to her not working with him in his handwriting...he is behind in that...I work with him as much as I can and sometimes get frustrated because In my mind he should be writing better than what he is for his age...The cold hard fact is that HE IS getting better just from me working with him. He still has a long way to go, but gradually he is getting there.

Life can take us by surprise in the most unsuspected of ways, but me advice to you would be to just stick with it because YOU WILL get through even the most difficult of roads you may face and the most weird or unsuspecting of roads...

take care

INTRODUCTION TO MY BOOK "UNKNOWN LOVE"

2007-11-12T04:41:18Z

We all wonder, at some point in time, what it truly means to love and be loved. This book was created in love, about love and for love. It was created so that you may join me in my journey to find this unknown love. It is a story, a journal of my life from child to womanhood. As a young girl, on the brinks of many new emotions I had yet to explore, I began my journey. As I experienced new feelings and emotions, I wrote about them. I wrote of life, love and what I thought love to be. At the age of 14, I wrote my first poem. As I grew with each new experience in life, my poetry grew with me. In this book you will see my perceptions of what love was through the eyes of a young girl, a young woman, and through the eyes of a saved woman. My search for love took me through many triumphs and tribulations. I thought, on different occasions that I had finally found what many of us so desire. I thought I had found my true love. Many times I was wrong, yet I still searched to find this love so I could fill this strong void I felt in my heart. It’s funny, looking back on my life, I see now that the greatest love had been there all along. There were times when I felt there wasn’t any hope and times when I felt like giving up, but God was always there to bring me through. He was present in every aspect of my life but as a young girl who had fallen away from him and even a young woman, I didn’t realize it at the time.

Through each of my life’s experiences of love, pain and confusion I continued to write them down. There were many times throughout my life when God spoke to me through my poetry. He was showing me that he was there to love me, to comfort me and bring me happiness. He was reaching out to show me that he was there to give me a love much greater than what I could possibly find here on earth. God continued to reach out to me until one day I reached back. Through his ever- present love, he brought me back to him. He showered me with his love, as he did many times before. This time was different though, for my mind and heart were opened which allowed me to feel and experience his love to the fullest. The void I had been trying to fill all of these years was finally gone. God filled it with the most powerful love of all, His.

I hope in reading this it will give you hope and inspiration. I hope it will show you that you are not alone in your life’s journey. I pray you will see that no matter what you may be going through or have gone through in your journey, God is there. He is waiting and always reaching out to give you the greatest love of all. Be patient, for just as God has chosen for someone on earth to love you, he has also chosen the perfect time to bring that person to you. I pray that you seek and find God’s love first, for when you do your heart will be complete, as mine was when I found him once again.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PAIN?

2007-11-12T01:05:21Z

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH PAIN

How do you deal with pain?

When it consumes you like the heat of a summers’ day

When all your life you’ve hidden it away

Then someone comes along and says it doesn’t have to be that way

Says be yourself you are a flower

You let go, then in a blink of an eye your world turns sour

How do you deal with pain?

When you lye in a sea of disparity

Overtaken with thoughts of uncertainty

How do you deal with pain?

When all the acts and words you thought to be true

Turn out to be lies simply fed to you

How do you deal with pain?

When it comes to pass

That preceding days

Were filled with misguided notions

Showered with false emotions

How do you deal with pain?

When all you thought was real in your life

Ends up in strife

How do you deal with pain?

If what you feel devours you spirit

If everyday you constantly feel it

How do you deal with pain?

When expectations of the one you love

Seemed not so far out of reach

When foreseen acts of the one you love

Appeared as though they would not end up breach

How do you deal with pain?

Like spoiling a child when you spare the rod

The trust and respect once had

Turns out to be a façade

How do you deal with pain?

How do you deal with pain

When you are dismembered of your crown

And your world gets turned up-side down

When on a pedestal, you once stood

And now you find yourself hiding under a hood

How do you deal with pain

How do you deal with pain?

By: Jana Adams